A few months ago, a study surfaced on Reddit that stated that the ability to digest milk in human adults is a relatively recent adaptation. It further posited that this ability was convincing proof of the theory of evolution: humans have evolved to be able to digest lactose later in life.

Years and years ago, I remember reading one of those fun kids’ science articles that talked about genetic traits like the ability to roll your tongue or wiggle your ears. The one that stuck with me was that some people have a small, solitary hair between the last two knuckles of the ring fingers on either hand. I always imagined that having that hair proved that you were a genetic throwback.

I have that hair. I’m also slightly lactose intolerant. I feel like a caveman. Maybe I could get a job acting in a Geiko commercial.

At least I have some compensations: I can roll my tongue and wiggle my ears. So there, all you evolved monkeys!